“ I look gross”.
This was one of the most repeated sentences that were going through my head when I was seeing myself in pictures. “Look at those arms no, and that double chin? I look fat."
I was mean, proper mean to myself, to my body. I said things to myself I would never say to anyone else’s. And for what? Nothing at all, just feeling crap and hiding away from the camera.
But it all changed when I started trusting my photographer. It took some time, practice and patience, but I did it. That photographer was me. I place the camera on self-timer, and I posed. Practice. Delete picture. Repeat. Give up for the day but try it again the next one.
The secret to getting a good picture of yourself is to feel relaxed and trust your photographer.
And to trust me, I had to believe in myself.
Later on, I managed to trust another photographer who wasn’t me - Mr D, who took the pictures above- , and little by little I have been feeling way more confident, accepting myself in pictures and even saying: I don’t look too bad on that one!
And nowadays I can say: hey, I like that picture of me, I look good :)
Obviously, I still do criticise myself, I have been doing that for too long, the habit is still there! But I realised I shouldn’t talk to myself like that, so when I identify them I stop these damaging thoughts.
It is a journey, I am not going to lie, but it is practice as well. And it is trust, not only on your photographer but on yourself: trust you are beautiful and that can be captured in a picture :)
So I am going to keep practising being in front of the camera and work on my self-confidence.
And showing my sustainable outfits, because it is something I always wanted to do but always told myself I wasn't pretty enough to do it. And if can do it, so do you :)
My clothes are a 2nd hand REISS coat
Jumper from Sezane
Scarf from Esprit
Jeans from H&M
Hat from a local store in Barcelona ( I need to check with the source, my auntie)
P.S. Have you ever felt the same way I did in front of the camera? Let me know on the comments below and see if I can help you :)